A message from the heart: Graduation

Hello everyone,

My posts have been a bit all over the place recently which I think is reflecting what is going on in my life right now. Instead of all the outfit and spending summary posts I thought would be the main focus of my blog, I am finding what I want to write is what is going on in my head right now and that's job hunting and finishing Uni. I guess that is how it should be because as much as I try to take outfit photos and talk to you about what i'm buying or wanting, my heart isn't in it and I need to be honest for my posts to have real meaning.

I had my graduation on Thursday and as much as I would love to write how fabulous, liberating and celebratory it was, I just cant as I would be lying. It was a bit of weird one. We set off at 630 am to travel down to Southampton and snoozing along the way left me feeling grouchy when we arrived in the city. I think the windy weather didn't help, making my mood stick for the rest of the day.

Everything was a bit difficult with the weather and with my dad having spinal problems (which he finds it painful when doing too much walking or on the contrary, too much sitting) I was anxious of the crowds of people and of us waiting around. In typical Dad style he insisted he was ok so neither my mum or I knew what was the best thing to do. The crowds in the photography hall and the people lingering behind me whilst I was trying to sort out my unruly long fringe (very important of course) made me tense and frustrated. I was already nervous about walking across the stage in heels I wasn't used to so couldn't relax. I then was so unhappy with my official photograph when seeing the snap my mum took over the guys shoulder. I know to everyone else I probably seem like a drama queen and they don't see the problem but I think it comes down to expectations and it wasn't how I've always imagined it. I was angry at myself because it was all because I just wanted to get us into some space so we could all relax; I rushed it and didn't take my time to enjoy the moment. 

The ceremony was actually really nice, the speeches were inspiring and actually got me quite emotional. Even though it was quite a long time I still enjoyed it and felt relieved walking down the stairs successfully, all modesty intact.

Outside it was again horribly windy which I think everyone found a battle. I was freezing and with that came a reality shock to what my University experience had really been like. It left me disappointed as it highlighted to me I wasn't or hadn't been who I thought or liked to have been and I really had wasted 3 precious years of my life.

This is quite hard for me to be this honest but I think its important to share with everyone what happened to me so other people can learn from it. I am also hoping it will be a great aid in helping me overcome my regrets and move forward.

When I started University I had just met my boyfriend. It wasn't my first choice and I don't think I was really sure what I wanted. I had a really tough time settling in, so home sick I was ready to leave or transfer at Christmas. I felt I wasn't being the lively,  outgoing, funny person I used to be and found I slotted into a rut of someone I never thought I would be. 2nd year I decided to go home at weekends as I was only in a few days (and hours) a week. I thrive off a busy lifestyle and I soon found I became a lot happier having a balance of home and uni life with a lifestyle to stop my from sitting in a room over thinking things.

me and my housemates

Come third year I had really found myself at University. I was throwing myself into my work and loved my PR modules. My house mates and I became incredibly great friends and I loved living in our own little house as our own little family. I wasn't ready to leave Uni. I couldn't believe it, after all this time, I DIDN'T want to leave. I felt happy and content with who I was and what I was doing. It soon dawned that I had been over ruled by my emotions and not really tried. I should have forced myself to join clubs and made that plunge to say  'lets go out' to course mates I saw day to day. 

Standing in the wind outside the grand Guild Hall at Southampton I watched groups of girls from my course toss their hats in the air and huddle together in groups for photos to Kodak the final stage of their journey they took together. Now, don't get me wrong, I am NOT a complete loser. I have friends, I promise. My friend Ellen and I got a few snaps in but sadly I didn't pursue finding my friends Abi, Katie and Georgia (all from different social groups) for a graduation snap. I am so sad about this as now I am full of regret and trust me, that's the worth feeling you could ever have. I think if my house mates had been there it would have been a completely different vibe as they are the ones that made my University life but sadly we all graduated on different days.

John Lloyd, QI, Black Adder and Monty Python writer was our guest speaker at our ceremony and his words really stook with me. It was strange it was almost like he was speaking directly to me. In a few different words he said 

"Don't plan, don't worry and take the leap as in the end the net will always be there to catch you." 

Now, I plan EVERYTHING. I worry, ALL THE TIME and with my university life in particular - I DIDN'T LEAP.

He said one more thing which has been really poignant for me these few days after the disappointment of my graduation which have caused me to give myself the full on silent treatment through anger at not embracing the day the way I should have.

'It will be the things you didn't do you will regret more than the things you did do"

Nothing has ever had such meaning as that has right now having not embraced my graduation day and my University life like I should have.

BUT I'm going to end this post on a positive note. It wasn't ALL bad. I got some alright photos. (HA, joking, I got more than that!) I am so thankful for everything University taught me and I am proud of my 2:1 degree because I did work so hard. I am thankful for the friends I made, though few they know me inside out and I will never forget them and the bond we have. The lessons it taught me about who I am and the determination I had to stick it out despite my incredibly rocky start. It might not have been the vision I had for my University days and I probably could have done a lot more but everything happens for a reason and learning this now, only means a brighter future.

Sadly,  I will always regret not making the most of the one of the most important days I will have in my live and I only ask anyone reading this to learn from me and embrace not only your graduation or University days but EVERY day because you won't get it back. I know this all sounds pretty deep but it was a significant 3 years of my life that has shaped me to who I am right this second. John Lloyd said that 'advice means nothing until you have past it on' and I think he is so right. Nothing hits home until you are advising someone else and if I could advise anyone anything it would be to go into everything saying yes and to go into everything with no expectations and I promise it will be better. Everything I have done with the hope it to be like the vision in my head has always left a little part of me disappointed. Expect nothing as the best parts of life are called surprises.

On that note, I leave you with the words of  U2's single 'One' as we really do only have 'one life'.

Company fashion forum

Last Wednesday I went to Company's Fashion Forum at Hackney's Picture House. Recently finishing Uni  my life  is now consumed with job applications, CVs and student withdrawals  My friend Steph and I decided to check it out to help us on our mission for our dream job but also decided it would be a great excuse for a catch up since leaving our student home.

Picture courtesy of company.co.uk

It came around so quickly I wasn't really sure what to expect. It all started with a welcoming glass of champers in the bar upstairs and some sociable mingling....with a stuffed buffalo  The crowd then seemed to move and we were swept into one of the screens. Steph and I got a little excited at the prospect of being back in a student esque atmosphere; lots of girls sat in a room similar to a lecture room note books at hand, 5 professionals with a mic and a slideshow behind them. Missing Uni life? Just a tad. The only difference was an amazing goodie bag on each of our seats, now that was definitely something my University could have invested in.

Now call me sad but I was already feeling a bit star struck seeing the lovely Victoria, editor of Company magazine. After tweeting about earlier in the day in which she replied I got all excited seeing someone who I aspire to be as successful as. I always knew I was going to be a career headed women when I grew up. I like to succeed and talk about anything to do with what I want to be, how I am going to do it and all the possibilities along the way so a lecture type talk with some high street experts was right up my street.

The professionals giving their advice were Mandy Heasman, Senior VM from Misselfridge, Sarah Walsh, Oasis Buying Director, Aradia Crockett Freelance Stylist,  Jamique Campbell from IPR public relations and jewellery designer and blogger Fred Butler. Victoria talked through each of the industry experts on their success stories, tips and advice for all us budding fashion girls in the audience.

Picture courtesy of company.co.uk

Admittedly I felt a bit old when some of the girls in the audience started asking Uni choice related questions. I wanted to pipe up and go, 'I know, been there, done that!' and thought, should I be here? So I put up my hand straight away in hope to ask a question for all us graduates out there (also to secretly get noticed). I always remember being told to ALWAYS ask questions, its one of the easiest ways to stand out, show your passionate and confident.

So what did I ask? "Iv'e just graduated and been noticing a lot of entry level positions in PR are asking for 1 year or more experience. I've done about 5 months of work experience and live outside London so can't really afford to do any more. When is enough, enough? and should I go for these jobs despite not having a full years experience?" Or something like that...

After, I thought I must sound a bitter graduate in which me and Steph laughed over afterwards but I believe it was a really important question and was something I was adamant to get some industry views on. Victoria had already touched on how people who can't afford to come to London can go about getting valuable work experience which I thought was an excellent point to cover, so I was glad I could cover this for graduating students.

The panel mainly agreed that this is not something they have come across and basically said I shouldn't be phased and to go for it no matter what, which I guess was like a big hug and telling me, you are doing ok! Which honestly, was just what I needed.

It was great listening to the experts advice and I thought I'd share with you some of the top things I thought were the best pieces of advice:

• Always find out a name to send your letter to and make it personal ' I love this shoot you did or I love this client of yours because of this' 
• Choose people that inspire you.
• You don't have to go to London for experience - approach a local store and suggest starting up a twitter feed, join your student paper or team up with your friends that are MUA or photographers as they will be the future talent.
• Stand out - write a funny, catchy subject line 'Makes great coffee' or even write a hand written note - everything is done by email these days so it would be refreshing.
• Be keen and enthusiastic but not annoying - keep in touch with your connections for future opportunities.
• Work hard and be friendly - it will go a long way.
• Work experience is vital - you can still get a job in journalism from work experience even if your degree wasn't journalism or even if you don't have one.
• If you do go to University, do your homework, look out for ones that have industry experts teaching or guests.
• Social media is a great tool to look out for jobs and opportunities
• Manage up - go with solutions not problems
• Fashion isn't as glamorous as you think - you need to get down with the dirty first.

Afterwards there was the opportunity to mingle with the guest pannel in the bar which unfortunately we had to miss. I was pretty gutted about this as I love networking but if we hadn't have left when we did we would have missed the last trains home! Ideally we should have stayed the night in London but with us both working lots recently we failed to plan. A failure to plan = plan to fail. Dammit.

Overall the night was a huge success and a great help to all us fashion hopefuls. Steph and I agreed that for us it was really mainly inspirational and comforting to know that we are doing everything we can and are on the right track. I loved being part of the night and look - even managed to make into a photo on the Company website (cream blazer with an engaging look into the question at hand - cringe!). 

Picture courtesy of company.co.uk

Great night, thank you Company! xx

BeautyFriday: Review: Tesco Make Up wipes.

I had been recommended Tesco facial wipes by a friend from University not only because of their extremely cheap price tag (99p) but because of their excellent ability to remove make up. Admittedly it was the cucumber range but these Sensitive Cleansing Wipe bad boys do just as good.

tesco.co.uk

I know face wipes are extremely frowned upon, or so it seems, but they are so handy and so commonly used its worth the review. Due to my often busy schedule I am a sucker for them and surely taking off your make up with anything is better than not at all. (Unless it is some sort of corroding acid!)

I am not a fan of soggy versions as you know from my post on Johnsons wipes but these are warming on me. The wipes are so soft and remove your make up instantly, even tough mascara after a few fiddles with your eyelashes. They are bordering on the wet side but the moisture soon soaks into your skin and doesn't leave you feeling greasey like other products I have tried.

They smell soft, are kind to the skin and don't leave me red raw from scrubbing. Just as it says on the tin - or packet in this case. I always buy Sensitive skin friendly products and am so pleased when they work, the worst thing is blotchy skin.

I tried the cucumber ones a while ago and remember being relatively pleased but due to it being some time ago do not want to review on my foggy memory.

At 99p for 25 wipes from many Tesco stores and online, I say - 4 stars! Hurrah! Go get it girls.

Wednesday Wants: Graduation

Hello! I'm back and what a better day to come back to than a Wednesday and my Wednesday want post! Sincerely apologise for the absence again but now everything is settled with my family  after two shock hospital check ins, I am back to blogging.

This Wednesday I am wanting... a Graduation outfit! Next week I will be receiving my certificate for my 2:1 in my degree and I am doing some mad, last minute shopping for a suitable outfit. For some reason I am finding it hard. I want something smart yet comfortable, that isn't going to be too cold for this time of the year but fashionable (I did do a fashion course so got to live up to expectations.) Its got to be able to go underneath my graduation gown and I have got to be able to totter across the stage. I am not tooo bad in walking in heels but am insistent I wear them as flats make me look young, small and casual. I am going to be going for a nice meal afterwards so have put these ideas together for some inspiration. Thoughts? Anyone else graduating this time of year or got any tips on what they wore to theirs?

Katie xx

Graduation Look 3 by katie-constable featuring closed toe wedges

I'm sorry

Hello, I am sorry I havn't been blogging recently but had a unfortunate family circumstance tied in with a busy schedule. I have started writing again so will be back soon but hope you can appreciate sometimes life throws unexpected things at us and we can't always fulfil what we set out to date.

I am gutted it has been a while as I really wanted to prove I could do this blogging thing but I havn't given up, just taking a break.

Be back soon xx